


have the strength to push away all the pain of yesterday

by voxaphone



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format, a lot of revan lore that i havent posted anywhere else online yet lol, after the leviathan but before the star forge, carth does NOT act like a douche and immediately say shes not revan because she IS, most dialogue from canon, so technically a fix it fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxaphone/pseuds/voxaphone
Summary: mhéirí and carth talk about her being revan. walls are let down and confessions are made.more of a short introspective thing i did to try and get back into the groove of writing fanfic and actually finishing it. cant comment on the quality of it or not but at least its done lol.done script style because my brain was Not working with novel formatting
Relationships: Carth Onasi/Female Revan, Carth Onasi/Revan
Kudos: 10





	have the strength to push away all the pain of yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song candle by cavetown!
> 
> dialogue (aside from carth telling revan she redeemed herself, that bit is mine) is all from the main game, but i checked the strategywiki page to get exact quotes.
> 
> there's a lot of revan lore here that i haven't really published anywhere online. the jist is that the name the jedi gave her was mhéirí dermont, and while she is light side, she absolutely detests the jedi for what they did to her. she thinks that her actions aren't her own but a by product of the jedi mind conditioning, which blatantly isn't true but sometimes you need someone else to tell you the truth before you believe it.

_[ Carth's back is to the entrance of the garage as he tinkers with the hyperdrive. Mhéirí hesitates as she steps in the doorway, not quite brave enough to cross the threshold. Gathering the embers of her usually blazing courage, she clears her throat, and Carth turns around to look at her._ _It takes all she can to keep from shaking. ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** I think it's time we talked about me being Revan, don't you?  
  
_[ Her voice is surprisingly even, but her body language shows all her worry as she keeps her arms crossed, tight against her chest. Carth exhales softly, placing the wrench he was using on the ground as he straightens his back. He turns so he can face her properly, leaning against the hyperdrive. ]_  
  
**Carth:** If you're ready to talk, then yes... so am I.  
  
**Mhéirí:** And?  
  
**Carth:** I can't hate you. I tried... I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done. For my... for my wife, for Telos... for Dustil. But I can't.  
  
_[ Mhéirí looks genuinely surprised. She expected him to still be angry at her betrayal, as he was on the night they all learned her true identity. Seeing his tired form, staring at her with a strange mix of melancholy and empathy on his face, it seems... too good to be true. A reaction that she doesn't deserve. Incredulously, she asks, ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** Why can't you?  
  
**Carth:** I got the revenge I always wanted when Saul died, but it hasn't brought me the peace that I thought it would. All I can think of now is the promise I made to protect you from what's going to come. It's given me a reason to look past simple revenge.  
  
_[ This time it's Carth's turn to falter slightly, glancing away from Mhéirí's face to the floor next to her feet. He's never been good with his words at the best of times, but this time he knows he has to speak. She's letting her walls down, expecting him to cut her deep. But hurting her wouldn't be like hurting Darth Revan. Instead of treating her like an enemy, he's going to treat her as he always has; a friend. Maybe something even closer. ]_  
  
**Carth:** I know there's a part of Revan still inside you, but it's not who you are now. The Revan I knew, the... the darkness that must surely be there, it doesn't have a hold over you. You choose to act against it. That's why I can't hate you, why I don't want any more revenge.  
  
_[ Mhéirí turns away, uncrossing her arms. One hand goes to the braid resting over her shoulder, about to undo it but pausing, hands twitching like she doesn't know where to put them. With a split second decision, she blurts out the thoughts that have been eating at her since they've escaped the Leviathan. ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** Who says it's really me, Carth? Whose to say I'm actually trying to do good or if I'm just following whatever code they implanted into my head?  
  
**Carth:** Whatever the Jedi did to you, they didn't know if it would work. Maybe they influenced your morality, but you still chose to do what you felt was right. You chose to help all those people, even when I saw how your anger almost overtook you. You gave yourself that chance.  
  
_[ Mhéirí softens, then looks back at Carth, making eye contact. While talking, he had stepped closer to her, and now he reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. Expecting her to tense up, he was surprised when the tension actually went out of her shoulders. There's a look on Carth's face that she can't describe, worried but loving, warm in a way she hasn't seen from another person in a long while. His voice is soft yet earnest when he speaks. ]_  
  
**Carth:** You have this huge destiny waiting for you, and I just fear if you're alone it could swallow you whole. I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?  
  
_[ Almost immediately, deflecting from how the question cracked her heart open, Mhéirí says curtly, ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** I don't want you hurt protecting me, Carth.  
  
_[ Pausing for a second, voice still soft, Carth says ]_  
  
**Carth:** I think I would be hurt worse if I didn't try.  
  
_[ Mhéirí looks up at him, eyes scanning his face for any trace of jest. He's being completely serious, still giving her that warm look. ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** What do you mean?  
  
_[ Carth sighs, looking off in thought. He's searching for the right words to say before responding, making eye contact again._  
  
**Carth:** Whatever's happened up until this point, there's going to come a time very soon where you're going to have to make a choice. And there won't be any turning back. I want you to make the right choice... I want to give you a reason to.  
  
_[ With that, the hand moves away from her shoulder to gently take hers in his, holding it with a gentleness Mhéirí's not surprised that he possesses. Her hand twitches, wanting to return the gesture, before she hesitantly speaks. ]_

  
**Mhéirí:** And if I make the wrong choice?  
  
**Carth:** Well then I hope I can save you. From yourself.  
  
_[ That wasn't something she expected. The sincereness in his statement was plain as day, and suddenly she knew that he actually meant it, that even if she threw her morals to the side, tried to slip back to the dark she didn't remember yet feared, he would be there to try and pull her back. A line back to the light, in a way. Realizing, in a sudden yet quiet way, he always seemed to be her line to the light. ]_  
  
_[ Her gaze turns soft, finally holding Carth's hand in return. and Carth suddenly flushes faint pink. Even if she wasn't with the Force, she could tell by his sudden timidness what he would say next. ]_  
  
**Carth:** You gave me a future. I want to give you a future too... I think I could love you, if you give me the chance.  
  
_[ Mhéirí gives his hand a gentle squeeze. ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** I can't see into the future. I don't know what's going to happen.  
  
**Carth:** Neither do I. But does that really matter if we love each other?  
  
_[ She smiles softly, sadly in a way. Her own cheeks turn pink. ]_  
  
**Mhéirí:** I guess not... I think I could love you, too.  
  
_[ Carth's smile is wide, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding with a light chuckle. He's flustered, but clearly joyed. ]_  
  
**Carth:** Well then I'm... I'm glad. Let's... let's face the future together, then... there's still a lot to do.


End file.
